Stefanie Hartman In The Press

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Wow! Lessons Learned…

Posted on 20 Aug 2010 | Author Stefanie | Comments 9 comments | Tags

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Why to Stretch Yourself…

I just returned from speaking at Nick Nanton’s VIP (and Private) mastermind event in New York City.  I LOVE LOVE, (did I mention) LOVE NYC!

That was a cool experience as I was speaking to mainly Dan Kennedy’s graduates.  Nick hand selected my training piece and I spoke on the $500,000 webinar formula.  I trained, it wasn’t a pitch fest (and I loved that).  It was fun and everyone was taking notes like mad.  In fact Nick asked me to distribute the PDF’s to make it easier for his group.  That’s always my secret goal with speaking – deliver content so they are writing it down.  I am so mean – Ha Ha.

I was reminded of a GREAT SPEAKER LESSON: Train people, just give great content – and then those interested will ask to become your clients because you gave them real help – not a sales pitch.   I just want you to know that I practice what I preach and not only is it less stressful for you as a speaker, and way more fun, but when you are relaxed and just train, you and your material shines though.

So I had one day to work and 1 day to play and I wandered the streets of New York.  What a beautiful city.  There was an open market that extended all the way to Central Park.  It was too much fun; I really enjoy outdoor markets when I travel.  Of course as I came with only carry-on so I could not buy all I wanted.  Which perhaps was for the best.

The best part of that trip was getting to know Nick and his partner Jack as well as their family.  What a dynamo team they have with Lindsey, Jack & Nick.  If you haven’t checked out what they are doing go and see:

Few Days Later…

A few days and 3 planes later I was off to Ocean City Maryland to speak at the Entrepreneur Success Summit.  That was a longer event (3 full days), and didn’t exactly turn out as I thought it would.  870 people were expected and less than ¼ showed up.  I remember walking in on the first day and my stomach just dropped.  I felt a little ill not only for me and the other speakers but for the organizer.  I felt bad for us all.

This was a massive 3-day event with the biggest names in the industry.  And some of them pulled out of speaking due to the lack of attendees.  There was talk of cancelling the event outright.  I can understand that for sure, but I was determined to stay and see it through for those who DID show up plus those who were planning on watching on You Tube and Facebook – live.

What made it tougher was you could feel deflated energy in the room.  Like it was hush-hush, quiet.

SPEAKER LESSON: Raise your energy and BE THERE – fully present no matter if there are 25 people or 2000 people.  Everyone deserves your best.

So I got on stage, even asked everyone to rise and shake out that deflated energy that I was determined to change.  It worked and I had fun training on stage.  People shifted because I shifted.  That’s important for you guys to know – every phone call you take, every interaction, people reflect your energy – so give them your best.

I admit, I worked hard, and because there is less in the room, less energy is reflected back to you so I did feel drained, not only from that but from the back stage drama. I thought I was done, that I could enjoy the next few days, but then I was asked to put together a presentation on the fly for the next day in place of one of the speakers that did cancel.

At first, I was tempted to decline.  I was tired and the easiest thing to do was nothing.  I had fulfilled my obligation.  The easiest thing to do was to go out that night for dinner, and out on the town with people who invited me.  After all, I hadn’t even seen the city.

But I decide to stretch myself and see what happened.  So I was up past midnight, but got it together and you know what – people loved it.  In fact they came up saying they had goose-bumps and chills and walked away with valuable usable tips right away for their business.

Here’s what I PERSONALLY LEARNED from these 2 events:  Stretch yourself.  Going to NY was last minute and very inconvenient for me.  I had family staying at my house for only 3 days, and had to give up 2 days with them to prepare for the trip.  I was also speaking to a sophisticated group and had no idea how my material would land with them.

But in New York I was not only rewarded with new clients, but I felt PRIDE that I did it.  I showed up and pushed myself.

In Ocean City I was rewarded by actually getting some big clients and also some JV’s, but again felt PRIDE that I pushed myself and my second talk (on the fly) turned out great.

Here’s the deal, I hope I don’t sound too preachy here, but the “safe” thing to do is NOT to push yourself.  It’s not to expose yourself.  I could have turned down NY, AND the second talk.  Heck I could have walked away from the whole event – but it is not in my make-up to do that. I need to do what feels right.

Hey, I speak to experts like you all the time, who are gung-ho in the beginning yet when they start to get a little success, sometimes they draw inward or backwards.  They fear what others will think of them, even what the other experts in their industry will say about them.  And essentially what is really happening is YOU are getting bigger.  Your reach is expanding.

Certainly some people (competition) who fear you may talk.  But so what?  Ok, I know it still sucks.  And it does upset me when rumors fly – in fact there was one about me and someone who is just a friend of mine at this last event.  But that will pass, and it’s all Bull**** anyways.  Don’t let it block you (am I going to really care about that rumor in 10 years?? NO!).

The important thing is that the world is waiting for YOU to STEP UP.  When you do step up, guess what – the world comes forward and meets you where you are.  So whenever you get that “unsafe” feeling – most likely you are GROWING – that’s all.  Recognize that and go for it.

My philosophy is that you can’t plan for many of the big things that will happen to you in life – fame, kids, marriage, you can’t plan for all the details and challenges each will bring.  But you can decide to STEP UP and GROW.  To expand yourself – believe me the personal satisfaction and private PRIDE you will feel for just going for it outweighs everything else.

The opposite typically leads to frustration and even depression.

We are always meant to do and learn new things grow & expand ourselves.  Isn’t that what we did as kids – it doesn’t stop just because you reach x age.

If nothing else – you will walk away a richer, deeper person with each step, each time you stretch yourself.  And by doing so, you gain more confidence so that the fear really dissipates.

Isn’t that what life is about in the end anyways?  Isn’t that what leadership is about?

As an entrepreneur – you ARE a leader.

This weekend – why not do something different and out of the norm for you – go do something adventurous and slightly scary, out of your comfort zone, even take a friend, do it together or better yet do it by yourself.

Some suggestions:
Learn to rock climb, ice-skate or ski, go to the track and take a stunt driving lesson. Bake a complicated cake for a party, enroll in a running group or bootcamp.  Do something that you used to do when you were a kid and forgot how to do OR something you have always wanted to do.  Or for work – call a BIG client, or that JV partner you’ve been dreaming of – do something BIG, something outrageous to get their attention.  Take the risk.  Take the step.

Please report back to me – tell us when YOU expanded yourself and how you felt when you did.

I would REALLY be interested in hearing about it.


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